Let's talk Jupiter Ascending
by ComicsCorner
Summary: Been meaning to write this review for a very long time now. I'll be talking about the good, the bad and my overall opinion on the Wachowskis latest Sci Fi thriller Jupiter Ascending.


Soooooooooo….Jupiter Ascending? Yeeeeah _…..(Taps pen on desk)….._ Da da dad dum dah du dah sum _….(Throws pen across room)_ WHY IS THERE SO MUCH HATE FOR THIS MOVE!?

I LOVE THIS MOVIE!

Ok calm down let's start slow.

First off usually the first thing to get me invested into a movie is of course the trailer, which is really what the purpose of a trailer is to get you excited for the movie and when I saw this movie boy was I excited, I honestly couldn't stop re watching ever trailer and clip. I don't know maybe I'm just a sucker for Sci Fi films they're my thing, I'm not much of a romantic, chick flick kinda girl _(My future husband will thank me for that someday)._ Don't get me wrong I enjoy romance in a movie I really do and i loved it in this film, i just don't like when that's the movies main focus you know?

Despite my excitement I didn't think that anyone in my family would go for this movie, so I decided to go with my next best option to see it….online, yeah that's what I did and boy did the audio and visuals suck…well that was probably because the guy who streamed it recorded the damn movie in the theater! Yeah so for a very long time I was stuck with watching a very crappy version of the film, only picking up what the characters were saying very few minutes, still barely understanding them and not being able to enjoy the special effects _(Which by the way are breath taking)_ Thankfully I was able to find a much better streaming online and I was able to enjoy it very much. Now to properly review this flick I will be looking over both the good and the bad.

And we'll never be royal royal, you can call me Queen bee

lol totally thought of that song when the bee scenes was going on.

 ** _The Good_**

 ** _The cast._**

I believe as most movie goers do that a good cast is everything next to a well formed script. Plus I'm a sucker for Sean bean, Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum _(Pretty sure that all three of them are of my top 10 talented actress/ actors list)_ Yeah I have a list what about it?! I surprisingly have a looooooooot of top ten lists! Anyway back to the review.

Is the cast good? Yeah pretty good, I don't have any issue with them; they could have been played by other actors/ actresses, but I'm glad that they went this way/ I actually heard that Jupiter Jones had two runner ups for the role, Natalie Portman was the main choice followed by another….who's name escapes me. Well she probably wasn't that important anyway since she didn't get the role; it was eventually Kunis who snatched the lead.

The cast does a very well grounded performance, not the bad kind. They'll all seem to stay in their roles; I know that many say that their bland and boring, but really maybe that's better than having them be an annoyance! I find the cast charming, witty and over all believable in the situations presented.

Now I must thank the Wachowskis for putting this together. Now I know that people are going to despise me for saying this but…I don't much care for the Matrix trilogy _(BOOOOO)_ Yes yes it's all very shocking, why don't you take me out back and shoot me! But first let me plead my case to the jury.

The matrix trilogy is a Sci fi film and scenarios that like many others WE HAVE ALL SEEN BEFORE. Humanity is almost wiped out and on the brink of extinction and there are only few who chose to stand us to stop the madness. Gee where have we seen that before?

Here's a few!

1) Terminator

2) Transformers

3) The Matrix

4) Mass effect

5) Battlestar Galactica

6) Avengers Age of Ultron (although that was done well)

7) Halo

8) I, Robot

Now am I saying that all of these scenarios are bad? Absolutely not, many of these movies and games I really do enjoy and still watch to this day, I am merely stating that that the Matrix trilogy is something that we have all seen before and to be quite honest many things in those movies really gives me a head ach, I do find the characters to be very enjoyable and some moments are very emotional and very memorable, but that hardly makes up for some of the ridiculousness. So yeah I don't care for the Matrix trilogy.

I'm thanking the Wachowskis for doing something very new in the terms of Sci Fi and I have to say that some of this stuff is pretty damn impressive. The visuals in Jupiter Ascending are truly breath taking as well as anything else you'd typically find in a Sci Fi film. Weapons, ships, aliens, planets, architecture and history….yes many of these things are in typical Sci fi, but in JA it is done so differently, it feels new and fresh, I guess that another reason it's fresh and new is because Earth isn't aware of life on other planets. Many Sci Fi movie today are aware that there is life on other planets if it deals with that kind of concept and we sometimes see those different species of aliens on the planet's surface, in this movie other sentient life is all but something you'd read in a comic book.

Another thing that's good about this is that the "Hero" or "Chosen one" In this case is not taken by a male lead, like most films do when they are writing about that kind of angle. This time the role is taken from a female perspective and done much better than most films.

My problem however with movies that have a female lead that discover that they are destined for something greater or they discover that there are supernatural or extraterrestrial forces out there I find them to be annoying.

 ** _Prime examples_**

 _1) Twilight/ Bella_

That woman totally earned the number 1 spot on Nostalgia Critics top 11 Dumbasses in distress

For the record I was forced to watch those movies! Ughh gross gross ew ew, never saw the last two oooooh thank the lord

 _2) Mortal Instruments: City of bones/ Clary_

Never read the book, I only saw it because a version was posted on Youtube, I was typing a story and I just wanted something to watch. An ok movie, just a very irritating male and female lead. Some female roles in movies now are very young like in their teens still which bother me a lot. Like the Pretty little liars series! Once again never saw that my sister watches it and most of her birthday presents were comprised of the books that I had to buy her. I love my older sister, but her choice in TV dramas is the cheesiest of cheese cakes that I have ever seen. It'd like what season 5 or something and those idiots still don't know who A is? What they hell is the matter with you guys? Plus do those girls ever not constantly dress up every day? Well I guess they have to see merchandise for the show somehow!

Ok my point is that the young teenaged female protagonists are pains in my ass, both in film and TV. Now this doesn't always apply Katniss from the Hunger Games is a very good example. But when I go back to young female teenage heroes all they really do is end up kissing the guy or having sex with him, yeah that really makes my skin crawl and you obviously know that these girls are young in the movie/show so it's like what the hell do your frickin parents know? With Jupiter Ascending, I don't get that young girl vibe here, that's probably because she neither looks or acts like it! She clearly looks like a responsible 25 or 26 year old who doesn't want to sleep with the first guy she meets with weird hair and tattoos _(This doesn't apply to Caine, I'll come back to that later)_

 _3) EVERY SINGLE ROMANCE MOVIE EVER MADE! (Yeah nuff said right there)_

Anyway JA is a fresh introduction to SCi Fi and young romance.

 ** _Characters_**

 _Jupiter Jones/ Mila Kunis_ \- I adore Mila Kunis, I just think that she's a sweetheart wherever she is and whatever she does, on top of that she's stunning, she's absolutely gorgeous. She is one of those many actresses who have only gotten more attractive with age; this concept can also be said for male actors too.

1) Mila Kunis

2) Halle berry

3) Hayley Atwell

4) Scarlet Johansson

5) Hugh Jackman

6) Robert Downey JR

And many more

Kunis just feels like a breath of fresh air and defiantly gets the kookiness and sweetness that her character portrays. She never felt out of place or feel annoying in this film, like the other females that I mentioned earlier. She looks stunning in every scene and I love seeing her expression in ever part of the film. She had the best expressions; I just love the fact that her eye brows would raise at the best of times, her eye brows along with the rest of her is stunning at her age. Kunis did a great job of making Jupiter seem innocent and grow throughout the movie. She fits this role perfectly and I really enjoyed seeing her perform.

 _Caine Wise/ Channing Tatum-_ _(Sighs dreamily)_ What? I can't think that Chan as I angel wear wolf is hot? What do you think I am crazy? I'll admit when a man is smoking! I ain't crazy ok?

And NO Jacob from Twilight does not count people! That was one puppy that I badly wanted to drown!

I enjoy this character because much like Jupiter he isn't an annoying male lead and he isn't from a magical world or one that involves vampires and wear wolfs. He's a frickin alien and that is ten times better! His determination and occasional small smile always makes me giggle, that and the fact that his voice makes me giggle and smile at the same time. I don't only smile Tatum for his looks; I respect his acting and the roles he plays, I admire his ability to play many different roles, them not always being the same and to answer his question yes! He is on my top ten talented and attractive actors and lists. Yes there are two lists….as I have stated before I have many lists. Caine is a super soldier, with spliced DNA, now that is also something that we have never seen in a Sci Fi adventure. His job is mostly protecting Jupiter as she accepts her new life as a recurrence and I love him as this strong bodyguard angel it's very sweet. Tatum brought a great deal of dignity to the role without making the character seem dominate over the key female lead. Tatum was charming and made the character very likable and seems real, not in the way or stealing the spot light. In the end this character really intrigued me and I only wish that more of him could have been explored.

I love the fact that this movie deals with something that we don't see much. Economics, yeah I said it you're getting educated throughout this, but in a very fun way. The fact that I am currently taking an economics class is pretty cool too so I was easily able to understand most of this stuff when it would fall into the policies of inheritance and trusts.

I also found Blaems moments when he encounters Jupiter to be short. It was much like the same treatment that Venom got in Spiderman 3, he was there from time to time and at the end only got like 3 minutes in that fight scene! No seriously that fight scene isn't even a full 4 minutes….talk about getting screwed over, like Hawkeye in the Avengers, but I was happy to see him in Age of Ultron. I just feel like Balems scene wasn't built up enough, but that scene when he's fighting Jupiter makes up for it a little, I love that scene.

There are many more character that I adore in this film. Sean Bean, defiantly on my top ten talented actors list, I adore many of the roles that he plays in film and I can't help but find him funny. Eddie Redmayne another actor on my top ten talented list as well, he is simple marvelous, I loved him in the Theory of everything; I always look forward to seeing him in upcoming cinema.

 ** _The Visuals_**

As I have stated the visuals are amazing. I suppose that it is the Wachowskis signature to make something spectacular on screen whether it is visually or not. They clearly know what they're doing in terms of making something look wonderful and breathtaking as well as believable, this is truly one films visuals that are impossible to forget.

 **The bad**

I don't really have anything bad to say about this film except for two things.

First off there are a lot of unanswered questions. Now many of these I was able to answer once I rewatched the film a few more times, but some are still puzzling to me.

1) Stinger also says "Since deadland Ain't taught you a damn thing!" What are the deadlands? Even Titus brings it up again when he's dining with Jupiter and yet again what the Deadland is never explained.

2)When Stinger is explaining Jupiter's history as a recurrence and she asks him "Your people killed the Dinosaurs?" And he responds with. "Technically they're your people your Majesty." What people? i mean there's no mention of a sole planet that Seraphi Abrasax ruled over and if there was what subjects/ people is Stinger referring to?

3) When Stinger tells Jupiter "Caine was the best Soldier I ever went into battle with?" Uhhh what battle exactly? Did the universe have a war that we don't know about?

4) When Caine confronts Stinger after he betrays him and Jupiter and explains that Kiza is sick and that he only did what he did to make her better after all of the craziness there is no indication or proof that she received treatment for her illness.

5) Why and for what purpose did Balem kill his mother? He claims that she begged him do it, but it seems to me that Seraphi had a lot to deal with and a lot of people counting on her so that seems unlikely. And Balem was going to inherit the Earth regardless so what was the point?

6) What the hell is up with those giant lizard dudes? Where do they come from and how did they end up working for Balem?

7) Did stinger receive a pardon for his betrayal?

8) What was Tituss punishment for trying to kill Jupiter?

9) Does Jupiter put an end to harvesting?

Something else, why is it that whenever there is a movie with a female heroine _(And this is not always the case)_ Why is it always a male that explains that there is a much better or incredible world than the one that she lives in? This isn't an issue it's just an honest question. Well in Clash of the Titans that isn't the case...ok yes i like that movie! And i'm a big Io and Persious shipper! Don't hate me world!

 ** _Some questions that a friend of mine who also enjoys the movie asked_**

10) Is there more inheritance than Earth for Jupiter?

11) What happens to Balem's holdings? (And is he really dead?)

12) Are Caine and Stinger older than they look?

13) What did Caine mean by he has more in common with a dog? (I suspect it's just what he was told and he uses it to bomb conversations as self defense.)

14) Where did Kiza come from? (Did she have a mom or did Stinger pay a splicer to make her?)

 ** _Problem two_**

The second problem I have with this film is ironically not with the film itself….it's from the viewers.

I mean come on people take a pill! I have heard too much hate on this movie and I can't help but give everyone a WTF face? Some are calling it the worst movie of 2015 and in general…..really? Ok really….ok look I will admit that this movie is not perfect, but I find it to be pretty great, in fact I still can't help but watch it over and over again, I'm literally watching it right now while I'm typing this review. Like I said this film is not prefect….but really calling the worst movie ever? That is fricking ridiculous if you ask me? I'm giving it major points for not being an interpretation of a book series where the female lead sucks or not being a movie sequel, because that is mostly what we're getting this year. And come on there are defiantly worse films out there right now, so just to piss everyone off I'm putting Jupiter Ascending on my top ten Sci Fic flick list so take that haters! Oh and another thing I heard that there is a potential sequel slotted for 2017 so you can bet your ass that I'll be first in line to see that, because this is one of the very few movies that I believes deserves a sequel, because I'm invested and I really want to learn more about everything going on in this amazing and beautiful universe. Jupiter Ascending is not the worst movie ever, if anything it's a much needed improvement of what we've been getting recently in terms of cinema.

Also why are people hating so much on Jupiter? They keep saying that she can't take care of herself and how Caine always has to save her…well what the hell do you want her to do? Instantly know martial arts? Ok first off Jupiter doesn't come from a grad A military background or anything, she isn't a warrior born and yet people still expect her to snap someone's neck. Also she's new in this crazy new world, so yeah she's gonna be naïve and not know who to trust, in her defense I would have probably been as clueless as what to do as she was, but if you think about it that fact that Caine saves her from these dangerous situations help the fact that she is now growing and becoming more experienced in this field as a recurrence so these hardships are making her wiser and more cautious. The fact that she take the time to kick Balems ass is pretty frickin sweet and that she also had the opportunity end him, but chose not to shows just how much she has changed in the time given she's become stronger in excepting her new life and chooses to be merciful and I think that that is much better than just having her be this bad ass female character which she kinda already is. I mean what did you people want her to do, a back flip of a two story building and drop kick someone ten yards? Give her credit for at least shooting someone and much more.

I am glad that the movie has gotten such a big fan base so that makes me even more hopeful in the demand for a much needed sequel. I'm totally onboard the JA fan train or gravity boots in this case, hell I even bough two Jupiter Funko pops at Comic con on Friday, so yeah I'm pretty much hooked.

Hey Bees don't lie and neither will I.

So I'm giving Jupiter Ascending a 9.5/10 only taking a few points off for my unanswered questions. I love this movie and I will no doubt be watching it many more times in the future

 ** _Questions to Answer_**

1) Favorite scene

2) Best line

3) Favorite character

4) Hopeful for a sequel? If so what do you want to see happen?

5) Really the worst movie ever?

6) What would you splice your DNA with?

7) If you were a Skyjacker what wings would you have?

8) If you could have a crazy and beautiful name like Jupiter what would it be and why?

9) Are you a male or female that enjoys this movie?


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